F1nn5ter informally discussed a concept that I really enjoy circa 2023-03-12 on a Twitch stream, following a donation by Jens_LN summarising the situation neatly: “It’s almost like you are min-maxing your gender”.
Let’s start with a simple example. It seems rare, at least in the present day, to suggest that “dressing for the occasion” amounts to being untrue to oneself. For example, if someone feels that shorts and loud tshirts are the truest expression of themselves, but wears a suit for a job interview because that’s what people in that company wear and this person would like to have the job, I think many would consider it odd to criticise that person for being untrue to themself.
Why is this? At least one motivation to dress for the occasion is surely that of min-maxing: minimising the weaknesses/cons/negatives (e.g. the chances of not even making it past the receptionist) whilst maximising the strengths/positives (e.g. demonstrating being already in the same “group” as one’s potential future boss and colleagues).
How willingly one changes one’s fashion style depends on how attached one is to visual self-expression. In simpler terms: how badly do you want the job?
Can we apply this view to gender?
If gender is performative — something one does, but also something one has done onto one by society (see Judith Butler) — then its permanence is not guaranteed: a person can present one way one day, and another way entirely the next — just as one might wear different clothes on different days according to social expectations and personal feelings.
Shortly after his coming-out video on 2024-03-01 (the exact stream eludes me; there are no transcripts to search through) F1nn5ter discussed (not for the first time) what for him are the differences in how he’s treated when boy-moding vs. girl-moding. He concluded, if memory serves, that the pros of one are pretty much the cons of the other: for example, he finds people more forgiving when he’s girl-moding (for example if he knocks something over in a store), presumably due to a perception of women being less capable and therefore subject to lower standards, but by the same stereotype he also has to watch out for himself more because he-in-girlmode not perceived as able to defend himself.
His comments suggest that, if one is not strictly attached to a single gender presentation, one could present one’s gender differently depending on the anticipated situation, using widespread stereotypes to one’s advantage.
A strong argument for adopting a gender-fluid perspective.